Convinced
by seilleanmor
Summary: A baby, a funeral and a mission. Mindless fluff set February of season six, spoiler free.
1. Chapter 1

"In a child's eyes, a mother is a goddess. She can be glorious or terrible, benevolent or filled with wrath, but she commands love either way. I am convinced that this is the greatest power in the universe."

_**The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms**_**, N.K Jemisin**

* * *

**For Katie, who asked**

**For Ellie, who needs it**

**And for Berkie, who knows why**

* * *

"I still can't_ believe_ they were siblings." Castle huffs out, Kate's hand safely ensconced in his own. Fragile fingers, delicate and beautiful and brittle in a way he finds utterly fascinating. It's a harsh February, and the ring acts as a lodestone to the bite of cold in the air, making him hiss every time he takes her hand.

Flirting at the edge of his field of vision, he catches her rolling her eyes at him. The slope of her nose, a shard of her cheekbone, the vivid half-slash of her mouth all in coalescence to leave him thoroughly breathless. Such a striking profile, and now every time it reminds him of turning to his side in bed and watching her face go slack with sleep.

"Castle, not everyone on the subway is embroiled in a passionate love affair."

Rick presses the arc of his smile to Kate's cheek, nibbling gently at the gossamer skin as he ascends towards her ear. Nudging the thick curl of her hair aside, he takes a moment to let the winter-rich musk of her settle in his lungs, peppermint and ginger and nutmeg.

"No. Just us."

The elevator doors slide open and Kate's elbow finds his ribcage, carving inches of space between them that opens like a chasm, his whole body teetering on the precipice as if at any moment he could crash back into her. Nothing for it but to lean in again and dust his mouth at the milky plateau behind her ear, his tongue darting out to taste even as she steps away from him.

Turning back, she raises an eyebrow at him and curls her fingers into his jacket pocket, leading him after her. "Alright, Castle. Just so long as you don't try to force incest upon any innocent commuters."

"Now that's just disgusting."

Rick fakes a shudder, his whole body convulsing with it, and he watches the slow leech of ink into Kate's eyes, a smooth and perfect black like the inside of midnight. Mm, okay.

So the similarities between his trembling just now and the way his whole body was wrecked with waves of seismic activity over and over last night is not lost on her. Kate's hair, Kate's skin, Kate's _mouth_ like tectonic plates, shifting against him and scattering devastation in their wake.

She gives him that pressed-mouth smile, the one where she tries to pretend she's not stupidly in love with him. It's high up there on his litany of frequently occurring Kate smiles. Uhuh, stifle it all you like, Kate Beckett. He knows she adores him.

Over her shoulder, Castle catches Esposito making like he's about to throw up, eyes narrowed at the two of them. He grins at the detective, rounds the desk to clap his hand at Javier's shoulder.

"Enjoy your weekend off, Espo?"

He shakes himself free of Castle's grip and scowls, shoving his chair backwards so violently it almost knocks Rick right off of his feet. Which would perhaps be funny, were he not hyperaware of Kate's eyes on him from her desk.

She catches him looking and rolls them at him, busying herself with wakening her computer monitor. And that's fine, that's okay. He had her undivided attention all weekend.

Espo stands up as if to level the playing field between them (_ha, Castle's still taller_) and folds his arms, settling back against the edge of his desk. "Clearly I didn't enjoy it as much as you did."

Rick opens his mouth, a lewd suggestion about how Kate most definitely enjoyed her weekend ready to spill out, but then the elevator doors are sliding open again and Kevin Ryan is stepping into the bullpen.

His eyes are downcast, tension rolling off of him in waves so all-consuming that they lick at Beckett's ankles, have her turning to watch him carve a path through the precinct. Striding right past Esposito's proffered hand, Ryan sinks down at his desk and stabs the button to wake up his computer.

Castle hurries back over to Beckett's desk and flops down into his chair, leaning in to conspire with her. She must underestimate just how near to her he's gotten, because when she turns to face him her nose almost brushes his. She hovers there a moment, the skin around her eyes and mouth creasing up with her smile, and then she shifts back.

"What's going on with Ryan?"

"He has a four month old daughter. A weekend off isn't really a break for him anymore." Kate says, casting a sympathetic glance over at Kevin. The detective has his head cradled in both hands, Esposito hovering awkwardly nearby and looking utterly terrified of his suddenly volatile partner.

Might be smart, actually.

"I'm gonna make him a coffee. You want one?"

Kate raises an eyebrow at him –right, stupid question – but then she drops her hand to cradle his wrist, circling her thumb over the clatter of his pulse. "Thanks."

"Not a problem." He beams at her, standing up from his chair in such a way that he can brush his knuckles to her cheek. The width of his body shields the moment of tenderness from Esposito, affording him enough time to offer her a smile.

She returns it, smoothing her thumb over the ring again. He never really expected her to wear it, if he's honest with himself. He figured she'd keep it safe in the same box as her mother's ring, would maybe wear it around her neck if he's lucky.

Only ever since she came back to the precinct, she's only taken it off for takedowns and interrogation. The latter he never understood, until one night with her head pillowed against his thigh and her body still limp with gratification she explained.

A suspect that sees her wearing a ring will look for weakness, as they would with any aspect of her personal life that became known to them. They would probe her for information about her fiancé, try to get a rise out of her.

In the quiet of two am, she had whispered that she's afraid it would work, she'd be compromised. So she won't risk it. And that's okay.

It's okay, because the rest of the time, she wears it. Ignores the jibes from her colleagues and how Gates can no longer claim plausible deniability. They both know that if Castle screws up, gets something wrong, she'll have him out of her precinct before he can even dial the mayor's number.

For now, he's safe. Watching Kate from the break room, the slatted blinds slicing her face into ribbons so he gets forehead, nose and chin but no eyes, no mouth. Even with only shards of her face visible to him, he sees the tenderness she can't battle back anymore.

The milk spills up out of the jug, scalding the curve between his thumb and forefinger. Castle hisses, shoving at the lever to stop it frothing as he yanks the pitcher away and grabs for a cloth. Shit, that's hot. Wow, okay. He should probably stop staring at his fiancée and pay attention to what he's doing if he wants to retain the use of his hands. Which – _heh, yeah_ – he definitely needs his hands.

Mm, Kate.

_No_. Rick draws in a breath through his nose and raises his hand to his mouth, sucking at his skin to ease the blistering heat there. Whatever, it's fine, doesn't even hurt that much. He can take it. He pours the milk into Kate's cup, has to force himself not to shape a heart in the foam.

Her face is still overtaken with slack-jawed surprise every time he does do it, so he tries to keep it to a minimum. Doesn't want her to become numb to it and stop turning her face up into his kiss, her hands curling at his ears to hold him close.

Castle finishes up, a mug in each hand so he has to shove open the break room door with his hip, barely managing to avoid it slamming back in his face. Kate's laugh curls around him like a siren song, seductive and deadly as he stumbles his way to her desk.

"You burn yourself?" She nods to his hand and he glances down, the pain flaring up anew at the visual reminder. His skin looks stripped raw, so red that Kate's fingers seem creamy in comparison as she hovers over him. "Need me to wrap it?"

"Oh no, it's fine."

"You sure?"

He sets her coffee down at her desk and leans in; close enough to watch her breath stutter in her throat, the jump and dive of her jugular. "Not that the concern isn't touching, but I'm trying to be a man about it."

"Okay, whatever." Kate huffs, turning back to her computer and very pointedly not taking a sip of her delicious, scalding-hot-just-the-way-she-likes-it (he _burned himself_ for her) coffee.

Castle rocks back on his heels, debating a moment, but the coffee in his hand grows ever cooler and the ways in which he wants to draw out Kate's smile are entirely not precinct appropriate. Shrugging, he turns to face Detective Ryan's desk.

Completely pathetic, but he has to take a moment to bolster his courage before he approaches. And honestly, when has that ever happened with _Ryan_? With Kate plenty, and with Esposito more times than he cares to recall, but Ryan is supposed to be the one who is always open to his crazy theories.

Kevin is the most easy going of the four of them. Or at least he was until he apparently had the worst weekend off in the history of mankind.

"Coffee?" Castle asks, already setting the mug down on the desk close enough that the steam curls under the crag of Kevin's jaw

"Thanks."

"So," Castle says, tries to be conversational rather than confrontational. He remembers all too well the first few months of his daughter's life. She was an easy baby, in retrospect, but he never could quite convince himself of that at three am with his baby girl screaming and writhing in his arms. "Rough weekend?"

"Yeah." Ryan murmurs, wrapping both hands around his mug and raising it to his face, his chin almost settling flush with the meniscus.

"The baby?"

Before Ryan can answer, Esposito is hustling over to them and shooting a glare - first at Ryan's mug and then at Beckett's - that could probably freeze the coffee in both. "So you're making coffee for everyone except me now, huh?"

"Javier," Rick claps his hand at Esposito's shoulder and shakes his head, biting back the grin that threatens to crack his face wide open. "You do not have a four month old baby. Nor are you going to be my wife. You get coffee when you've earned it."

Espo scowls but seems to have no retort, at least for now. Instead, he's calling out loud enough for the whole damn precinct to hear him. "Hey yo Beckett, I thought you were gonna tell your _fiancé_ to stop calling you his wife. It's not official yet."

Kate's cheeks flame as her colleagues crane their necks, attention swinging wildly between her and Castle himself. Rick watches the work of her throat as she swallows, a twitch in her bicep the only indication of the work of her nails, hidden away underneath the desk and carving crescent moons into her palms. "Not my fault he's so whipped, Javier."

Espo turns to face Castle, something like crowing delight painting his face, and Rick shrugs his acquiescence. It isn't exactly untrue.

"So, Ryan. Colic?"

Kevin shakes his head, eyes cast down in something so close to shame it makes Castle shift his weight, the discomfort strangely thick in his throat. "No. No, Brooke's fine. It's, uh. . .Jenny's grandmother died."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Were they close?"

Ryan meets his eyes, the corner of his mouth lifting in an approximation of gratitude. For Castle's condolences, he supposes, since it's not as if he's actually done anything worthwhile to help.

"Yeah. Her whole family are close knit. She was the matriarch."

"This was the Vermont grandmother?" Castle says, remembers her from the wedding. An ancient woman, her whole body entrenched with lines that seemed to spill wisdom, everything she said veiled under layers of mystery and intrigue.

Mrs O'Malley had spent much of the reception swatting at Castle's arm and telling him not to leave such a beautiful girl hanging, her smile wide and full with more gum than tooth when he finally asked Kate to dance.

"Yes. We're heading up there early Thursday morning for the funeral. Should be back around midday Friday, if everything goes to plan."

"You taking Brooke with you?"

Ryan sighs, taking a sip of his coffee and letting his eyelids slam closed. It sits wrong with Castle to see him so downtrodden, heavy and sloshing in his stomach. "Four month old babies don't mix well with funerals, but we don't really have a choice. My parents and my sister are out of town, and all of Jenny's family are going to be at the funeral too."

"I could take her." It's out of his mouth before it even makes contact with his brain, bypassing any sort of filter, but as the words trip off of his tongue Castle realises he means it. He will absolutely take care of Ryan's daughter for a night, if it makes things easier for him.

Ryan lifts an eyebrow, huffing a soft laugh. "Shouldn't you ask Beckett first?

Right. Yeah.

Castle tries very hard not to jog over to Kate's desk, mostly fails if the look on her face is any indication. "Kate, Jenny's grandmother died. They have to head to Vermont for the funeral and there's no one to take Brooke for Thursday night. Is it okay with you if we look after her?"

"Uhh. . .yeah?" Beckett gapes at him, the information he let unspool at her feet still processing. "She'd stay at the loft?"

"Yeah. You wouldn't mind?"

She shrugs at him, her mouth pressed into a seam he wastes precious seconds thinking about breaching with his tongue. He beams, can't help but lean in and press a smacking kiss to her forehead.

He already called her his wife and then had it announced to the whole precinct this morning, there's nothing left to lose. "Great! Thanks, Kate."

"Mm-hmm." She offers to his retreating form; he can almost _hear_ her shaking her head at him. Whatever, he's doing a good deed.

"S'fine with Beckett. We'd be happy to have her."

Ryan grins for the first time all morning, rising from his chair and clapping Castle on the back on his way past. "Thanks, man. I'll call Jenny."

"Not a problem."

Really, it's not. Brooke Ryan is probably the second most adorable baby he's ever seen in his life, and she's also scarily contented. He knows it won't be easy, but it's definitely an easier scenario than he could have been faced with.

Added to that the fact that Kate Beckett has basically no choice but to be a co-carer for the Ryans' daughter, and God does he love the elusive glimpses of Kate's maternal side he's sometimes privileged enough to witness, and this whole thing is going to be epic.

A small part of him, a part he mostly manages to crush through sheer brute force, yearns to prove to Kate that the two of them would make awesome parents together. That being a cop and being a mother are not mutually exclusive.

That it's already been proven that he makes awesome kids, and any child with even half of Beckett's DNA is bound to be some sort of sanctified being that merely deigns to mix with the rest of the mere mortal pre-schoolers.

He is fully prepared to use this as an opportunity to convince Kate Beckett into letting him get her pregnant.

* * *

**Tumblr:** katiehoughton

**Twitter:** seilleanmor


	2. Chapter 2

**Convinced**

* * *

"You're sure it'll be okay?" Jenny frowns, lines stacked like footholds in her forehead all the way to the pale stretch of her hairline.

"She'll be just fine." Castle grins, setting a comforting hand at Jenny's shoulder. It's painfully early, his eyes brimming with grit as he battles with the winter sunlight tripping through the slats in the blinds. The Ryans, though, seem to have been awake for hours, both of them full up with nervous energy. It seeps through the cracks in their carefully pieced together façade like a backlight.

It's lucky, really, that he's not the sort to be swayed by other people's anxiety, or he'd probably be a wreck right now. Almost as much of a wreck as Kate is, shifting from foot to foot at his side.

"Okay, well, call me if there's anything at all you're unsure about." Jenny says, her arms still full with her daughter. She cradles Brooke's head in one palm, the other ghosting up and down her back. The baby has her little fist hooked in her mother's collar, nose pressed flush with Jenny's neck, and as she finds herself being eased away from her resting place her eyes fly open.

Kevin takes his daughter, scattering kisses over the fine dusting of hair at her scalp and nuzzling at her cheek until she laughs. Those delighted baby giggles that turn _Esposito_ to mush, so it's little wonder that Kate is stepping in to brush her thumb over Brooke's cheek and cooing at the girl.

Castle can't remember ever seeing Beckett so hopelessly sappy as when she has the baby in her arms. The first time she'd ever held her niece her eyes had welled with tears as she'd glanced up at him, arching her neck to press a kiss to his smile.

He likes it. Soft Kate. Kate as a mom. He wants to see more of it, every day. Maybe best not to mention that just yet, though. She needs a little time to settle into it, to establish that she can handle a child just fine.

Ryan hands his daughter over to Kate, a last kiss to her cheek and then he's taking Jenny's hand and leading her over to the door.

"I'll text you hourly updates." Castle offers, using Brooke as an excuse to shift closer to Kate and wrap his hand at her hip. Ostensibly so he can wriggle his fingers at the base of the baby's neck until she laughs, although the warmth of his fiancée is a not unwelcome bonus. She cants into him, settling her weight at his side even as she makes ridiculous faces at the baby in her arms.

Brooke gurgles those happy baby sounds again, seemingly oblivious to her parents' departure. Captivated by her aunt, Castle would guess, and no one could possibly blame her. Not when faced with the arc of Kate's grin, her eyes deep and vibrant as rivers.

"Half-hourly?"

Castle grins, hopes to appease Jenny's heartache at leaving her child at least a little bit. "Sure."

"Thanks." She smiles back, letting her husband guide her out of the loft and down the hallway. Castle moves to his front door, tugging Kate with him so the two of them can wave goodbye. Brooke's tiny fist is hooked around Kate's thumb so that when her aunt waves, her own hand follows. It draws another laugh out of her, loud enough that Jenny turns back, Ryan's grip the only thing keeping her in place.

"Are you waving goodbye to Mommy and Daddy?" Kate murmurs to the girl in her arms, pressing her nose to the crown of Brooke's head and drawing in the scent of her.

After the elevator leaves, the Ryans safely ensconced inside, Castle follows Kate back into the loft and tries not to let his face show how pathetically in love with her he is this morning. Well, okay - even more so than usual.

Kate settles herself at the counter, pressing her thighs together and settling their niece in her lap. Both arms around the girl's stomach to keep her upright, her head pillowed between Kate's breasts, and Rick doesn't think he's ever seen anything in his life that fills him with so much need.

It threatens to bring him to his knees right here in the middle of his living room, roiling in his gut. Almost paralytic in its sweetness. God, he wants to see her with their children. More than anything.

He always thought Alexis was enough. Sure, he'd have liked to have more children. Just. . .not with Meredith. Not with Gina either. Neither of them was ever really receptive to the idea of motherhood, and he couldn't bring himself to do it alone again.

Not that he didn't enjoy every sacred moment of Alexis' childhood, not that he didn't love getting to be her whole world and she his, but for every first word and accident and award at school there was always the space of a heartbeat where he yearned to have someone to turn and share a smile with, someone for whom his daughter's life was just as precious.

And there is not a single thread of doubt in his mind that Kate Beckett would be that for her children. Whole, affected, in it. The best mother any child could possibly think to ask for.

He's a good dad; on his better days he lets himself believe that he's a great dad. But Kate draws his best qualities out, makes him strive to be worthy of her. Together they'd be an unstoppable force of parenting wizardry, he is completely sure of it.

"She okay?"

Kate glances up from the giggling baby in her lap, one hand still busy with the finger puppet Ryan gave them to entertain his daughter with. "She's fine. Don't think she even realises they're gone."

"Are _you_ okay?"

Her brow furrows, mouth turning down at the corners so he can't help himself but to lean in and paint a smile over her face.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

She probably means to sound defensive, but with the sweet fullness of her lower lip brushing his with every word the words come entwined with a sigh.

"It's kind of a big deal, being trusted with someone else's baby for the night." Rick lifts a shoulder, keeps it nonchalant and unthreatening. It is suddenly absolutely imperative that Kate not think he's questioning her abilities already.

"I know. I'm sure we can handle it."

He grins, leans in to press a kiss to her mouth, her jaw, cool and fresh from this morning's shower. Brooke makes a sound somewhere between a gurgle and a whimper that makes Kate laugh, their kiss shattering around her teeth.

"What is it, baby girl? Were we ignoring you?"

God, watching her work to make Brooke laugh is almost definitely going to actually kill him. He's been excited all week at the prospect of seeing Kate with a baby, but it's taken until this moment to process that Kate will be _with the baby_.

The pair of them are ridiculous. Kate contorting her face into a sappy smile for the little girl that would probably render her unrecognisable to any number of her colleagues, and himself completely ruined by it.

"I figured I'd take her to the park or something today. Try and keep her entertained so she doesn't have time to miss Jenny."

"Right, yeah." Kate bites her lip, dipping her chin until her lashes fall like shadows across her cheeks, obscuring her eyes from him. "I wish. . .I could come with you."

Castle traverses the milky line of her scalp with his mouth, the skin paper-thin and delicate under his touch. It sends shivers clattering down Kate's spine, has her falling forward to rest her cheek at his chest.

"I know. But how would Espo cope by himself? Can't leave him alone."

That makes her laugh, the image of her fellow detective transposed with that of a petulant child in her mind's eye, he can only imagine. And then that makes him think of Esposito stamping his foot and throwing a full blown tantrum and then he's laughing too, Brooke gazing wide-eyed up at the two of them.

"I guess someone has to hold his hand." Kate glances at her watch, the movement bringing her mouth close enough to the crown of Brooke's head that she can press her mouth there and sigh against the fine hair. "I should go."

"You'll be home early?"

"I'll do the best I can."

He wishes he could have more than that. A promise, some kind of tangible reassurance. But this is all she has, and she's offering it up to him as if for inspection. "Call me when you leave and I'll order dinner."

"Will do." She stands, hands the baby over to him with a last kiss to the girl's cheek, lingering at the plump fullness until Brooke squirms. "Call you at lunch?"

"Mm-hmm. Have a good day." He can't help but grin at the domesticity of it all, nudges his smile against Kate's own until she brings a hand up to cradle his jaw, sighing into their kiss.

At the front door, she stops to wave goodbye. More for their niece's benefit than his own, but childish delight rushes through him all the same and he flutters his fingers at her in return. And then she's stepping over the threshold and closing the door and leaving him alone with a four month old baby to entertain for _at least_ twelve hours.

He sucks in a fortifying breath, glances down at the baby cradled against his chest. "Looks like it's you and me, kid."

* * *

Brooke, thankfully, does not have any sort of negative feelings towards the stroller the Ryans left with him. She faces outward, so he doesn't see what she's doing, but whatever it is seems to absolutely melt almost everyone they walk past.

A little disconcerting, actually. He'd forgotten how the gift of a particularly adorable baby can make even the most hard-nosed of New Yorkers offer you a smile and step aside to let you pass.

He's looking for the little café he and Alexis used to frequent when she was tiny. The place is warm and welcoming and the tables are spaced far enough apart to make manoeuvring a stroller only the most minor of issues.

Not that he really had that problem with Alexis. He used to take her absolutely everywhere in the baby carrier, could not get enough of the comforting weight of his daughter against his chest. He'll have to remind himself to buy one for the baby-

The baby that does not exist yet, Rick. Not even hypothetically. Don't get ahead of yourself.

He spots the café a little way in the distance, gratitude surging through him at the distraction from his own thoughts. He would spend his whole life basking in thoughts of Kate and the future he yearns to share with her if he could get away with it.

As it is, he has to concentrate on opening the door one-handed and battling his way over to a table in the corner where there's ample space to park up the stroller. He hits the brakes, angling it so he can see Brooke from his own chair and contort his face into something that makes her laugh.

Over at a table nearby, he catches a woman watching him and he straightens up, sends her a self-deprecating grin. She laughs softly, bouncing her knees to encourage her son to crack a smile as well.

"Sometimes I forget that other people can see me too, not just her." He laughs, settling down in his chair and fishing around in the basket underneath the stroller for a toy to give his niece. He plucks out some kind of terrifying contraption with cogs and wheels and lights that attaches to the tray in front of Brooke and immediately has her enthralled.

Huh. Okay. Easier than he thought.

"Well it's easy to make a fool of ourselves for the sake of our children, I guess." The woman is saying, offering a juice carton to her son as she picks at her sandwich with the other.

Rick shifts in his chair to face her and tries to tamper down the charm. He doesn't do it on purpose, has yet to find the off switch, and he hates having women swoon over him nowadays. Not when there's only one woman in his heart.

Kate. He should call her; see how her morning is going. But first to deal with this woman. "She's well worth it."

"You have a lovely daughter."

"She's my niece." Castle grins, turning back to right the toy Brooke has somehow knocked over. The noise sends shards splintering behind his eyes and he winces, presses the bridge of his nose hard between two fingers.

"If you want I can watch her while you grab a coffee, looks like you need it."

Damn this woman and her niceness. And how very right she is. He should rightfully be on at least his second cup of the day by now. Not being at the precinct has thrown off his whole routine. It's not rude of him to take advantage of this woman's generosity, is it?

"That'd be great, thanks."

* * *

When Rick makes it back to the table the woman, whose name he still somehow does not know, is gushing over Brooke, simpering noises spilling out of her as if she doesn't even hear herself. On Kate, it would be adorable. On this woman, it grates.

"Thank you so much for that. I should probably call my wife, reassure her that the baby is fine. Excuse me."

"Sure." The woman smiles at him, gathering up her belongings where they're scattered like debris across the table top and packing them away into her bag. "Nice to meet you."

Huh. Not a trace of irritation at having been shot down. _Okay_, so maybe he overreacted just a little. He's just used to women finding him being a father painfully attractive; the whole of Alexis' childhood he was like nectar.

And now too late he's realising that he called Kate his wife again, and he really needs to get a hold of that before he does it somewhere really inopportune like to a suspect or to Gates or heaven forbid to Kate herself.

Castle sucks in air through his teeth and dials her number, resting a hand in Brooke's lap because she seems to be fascinated with his fingers and grinning at her even as his call connects.

"Hey, Castle."

"Hey. I'm getting coffee in this adorable little café and Brooke is perfectly content, so I figured I'd catch up with my favourite detective."

Kate huffs a sigh in his ear, rolling her eyes at him no doubt, but he doesn't miss the thread of tension in her voice when she speaks. "She's okay?"

"Yeah. She's totally fine. I, on the other hand, am not. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Castle." She gives him, sotto voce. "Precinct's quiet without you."

"Catch a case?"

Beckett groans, so close to the noises he gets when he worships her body with his mouth, his hands that he has to grit his teeth and let his eyes slam closed. "Ugh, no, just paperwork. Nothing exciting."

He opens his mouth to reply and suddenly Brooke's whole face crumples, her cries increasing in both pitch and volume more rapidly than he was fully prepared for. Castle stares at the baby for a long moment, panic thick and slow as it curls through his veins, and then Kate's laughter in his ear startles him into action.

"I'll let you go deal with that, buddy. Text me later?"

"Uhuh." He says, already on his way to hanging up. Reaching in to the stroller, he lifts the screaming girl up to rest against his chest and bounces her gently, tries to let his natural instincts take over.

Crap.

Now what?


	3. Chapter 3

"I know baby girl, you're hungry. Hold on just a minute and I'll get your bottle heated up." Castle pleads with the screaming girl in his arms, juggling to keep her body safely contained as she writhes. Her back arches as if she's in agony and Rick grits his teeth, decides to just abandon the stroller where it is.

Someone can steal it for all he cares; he'll buy a new one. Anything to have Brooke stop crying.

He battles his way over to the counter; thankfully there's no queue to contend with. The girl serving offers him a sympathetic smile and takes the bottle of formula before he even gets a chance to open his mouth.

"Thanks." Rick says, can't spare even a moment to smile back at the poor server with his niece bawling as if she's on the brink of death. The baby arches her back again so violently she almost flips right out of his arms and he grabs at her, sinks into an armchair near the counter and tries to breathe through his heart's thundering arrhythmia.

"It's coming, sweetheart. Shh, come on. Don't cry." Castle manoeuvres her to lie against his shoulder and the upright position does seem to momentarily console her, her fist coming up to smack against his jaw.

It hurts; he hisses and shifts her into a more comfortable position. Brooke's knees come up to search for purchase against his ribcage, her head tipping backward on her neck precariously. Castle cups a palm at her nape to keep her close against him, panic thick at the back of his throat.

He knows she must feel it rolling off of him in waves, his stupid heart thrashing in his chest and sending waves of seismic activity clattering through his niece, but there's nothing he can do. No possible way to calm _himself_ down until she stops crying.

The barista comes back with the bottle and Castle has to viciously clamp down on his nerve endings so as not to snatch it from her, forcing himself to move slowly. "Thank you so much."

"Not a problem. If you want I could move the stroller over and you can sit here instead. It's probably more comfortable."

She's right, the armchair that has somehow, miraculously made itself available to him offers far more support for both him and Brooke than the table he had been sitting at. "That would be great, thank you."

Castle cradles the baby in the crook of his elbow, letting the arm of the chair take most of her weight as he nudges at her mouth with the bottle. Jenny told him that Brooke is usually fine with the formula, and true to her word the girl latches on without a moment's hesitation.

Smiling down at his niece like a total idiot, Castle relaxes back into the chair and lets the tightly wound chords of tension unlace themselves from around his bones, pooling at his feet. "There, see. All better now."

The barista parks up the stroller next to him and grins down at Brooke a moment before meeting his eyes. "I'll get you another cup of coffee."

"Thank you."

It feels unnatural to have everyone so willing to help him. When he's with Beckett people are often more lenient, offering up their services for the beautiful detective, but by himself he's just another body in a sea of faceless New Yorkers.

Well, he's not by himself. And Brooke is completely adorable, even if he is biased. So perhaps it's little wonder that he's been met with such kindness this morning.

He can't help but wish that Kate were here to see it, see how having a baby can open up a whole new world of possibilities, rearrange your entire life to include so much joy at the smallest things. It's pathetic, how much he misses her.

Castle drinks his second coffee; Brooke drinks her bottle and sinks down in his arms, heavy with the weight of content. Lashes dusting over her cheeks like shadows, delicate and pale as she falls asleep against his chest.

Taking a moment to enjoy her warmth, the tiny fist that opens and closes in sleep, catching the material of his shirt and leaving little creases right over his heart, Castle almost gives in and calls Kate again. She's busy, and he really shouldn't, but he wants to so badly.

Wants to hear her voice, the soft breath of her laughter and the quiet truths he finds it so easy to draw out of her now. Well, okay, not _easy_. Just comparatively simple when measured against how every unravelling of another layer used to be a battle.

When he told her he's had to scratch and claw for every inch, he really was not joking. Worth every moment, though, to now be able to text her a picture of the sleeping girl pillowed against him and say whatever the hell he wants. No more censoring.

_See how adorable they are when they stop crying. I could let ours sleep on my chest while I write. _

Castle hits send before he gets a chance to second guess himself, pictures Kate opening up his message and being entirely unprepared for the sudden barrage of his true heart. Maybe she'll move away from her desk, head to the break room or the bathroom to clear her head before she replies.

He settles his niece into the stroller, tucking the crocheted blanket around her to keep her safe from the chill. It's warmer today, but the cold still lurks low in the cracks between paving stones, just waiting to curl around his ankles like smoke.

On his way out of the door, his pockets considerably lighter after he emptied his loose change into the tip jar at the counter, Rick's phone vibrates with a message alert. He moves a little way down the sidewalk, finds a place to tuck both himself and the stroller in against the wall so he can read the message without the flow of foot traffic jostling into him.

_I don't know that that would be good for your concentration, Daddy._

Holy shit. Okay. So she's not panicking then. But – the gnarled fingers twist around his ribcage and threaten to make canyons of his bones – it seems that he is.

It's not supposed to be this easy.

* * *

Kate drops her phone back to the desk and heaves in a breath that tastes like drowning, her lungs blue-black and gasping for oxygen. What is she _doing_?

They haven't even set a date for the wedding yet, and now she's encouraging a conversation about their hypothetical children. The strange part is that it doesn't even terrify her. Not like she always assumed this sort of suggestion would. It just feels. . .inevitable.

Of course this is where they'll end up, has always been where they're headed. There's no viable alternative in her mind but a life with Castle, full to bursting with so much happiness that a part of her can't help but wait for the other shoe to drop, it all to come crashing down around her.

Against the desk, her phone vibrates with a message and she rests her forehead in her palm a moment, scrubbing her fingers across her eyes and down to prop her chin in her hand. Staring at the phone, Kate gives herself in infinitesimal moment to panic, and then she swipes her thumb across to unlock it.

_Well okay, I guess not. They could sleep on their Mommy, then. While Daddy works._

Okay. Okay, breathe, Kate. It's fine. It's not as if he's outright asking her to let him get her pregnant. No, he's just filling her brain with all sorts of images. The soft warmth of a tiny body pillowed against her, huge blue eyes slowly opening to meet her own.

God, she wants it. So much it hurts, her chest on fire.

Tapping out a reply, Kate hits send and then shoves her phone into the desk drawer. She's supposed to be concentrating on her paperwork, finishing up so she can make it home at a reasonable time. Only now she can't help but imagine his face when he reads her message, comes crashing to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk.

_Or we could have one each._

* * *

Castle holds his breath as he lifts Brooke up from the stroller, settling her in the bassinet that the Ryans left with him. Thinking of them that way, as a unit, makes him yearn to sit Kate down and settle on a date for the wedding. He wants them to be the Castles, a family, a team.

Not that he knows for sure that she'll take his name. He's willing to bet that she won't at the precinct, having already firmly established herself as Detective Beckett. But Kate Castle has a nice ring to it, he thinks, and he can't help the silly wish for her to share his name at least in some aspects of their life.

It's not about trying to possess her, God help any man that attempts to own Kate Beckett. He just really wants her to be Mrs Castle. Stupid of him, archaic even, but the desire is there all the same.

The baby settles into the bassinet without complaint, wriggling a little as he tucks the blanket up around her. Her little mouth smacks open and closed a few times but she doesn't stir, apparently out for the count.

Castle gathers his laptop from the desk and settles in bed with it, resting it against his thighs and arranging the pillows to cushion his spine against the headboard. He usually tries not to write in bed, finds it is mostly not conducive to making any sort of progress. But for right now, he wants to keep watch over his niece.

Sometimes he writes in bed with Kate. She curls up to read next to him, her eyelids drooping within moments as the steady tap of his fingertips against the keys soothes her, lulls her to sleep. And then he gets to write about Nikki with Kate's open mouth pressed against his thigh, an arm hooked over his knee.

Opening his document, Rick scans through to pick up his train of thought and then the scene forms in his mind and flows downwards; out through his fingers so fast he can hardly manage to keep up. Nikki's pissed at Rook because he's pressing for more, some form of solid commitment from her, and she's not ready.

It does feel like a breath of relief to know that his own relationship with Kate is no longer behind their fictional counterparts. In fact, they're way out in front. He already put a ring on her finger, didn't he? Even if they haven't yet set a date.

He wants to. He also wants to explore these ideas about their future that Kate apparently has. Her earlier text about having two kids had him choking on the hotdog he had grabbed from a vendor, several passers-by shooting him concerned looks as heat spread up his cheeks.

Eventually, once he managed to suck in enough air to regain his usual bodily functions, he let himself get drawn in to imagining it. A family with Kate. A part of him is tempted to call and probe her about these long-hidden desires, see if there's also a white picket fence and a dog in their future.

If that's what she wants, she can have it. All of it, anything, as long as he's the one who gets to do it with her.

Castle rattles out two chapters, goes through the edits his publisher sent him on the previous three and shuts off his laptop, returning it to its rightful place at his desk. On his way past the bassinet he glances in to see Brooke gazing up at him, blue eyes wide and alert.

Scooping the girl up, Rick cradles her against his chest and scatters kisses across her cheeks, delighting in the laughter that spills out of her. "Hi sweet girl. Shall we go see which toys Mommy and Daddy left for you?"

One arm around the baby to keep her secure, Castle rummages through the pile of stuff the Ryans left in his study until he finds the play mat. The thing has bars that cross over the top, making a dome shape from which toys hang down.

Rick arranges the mat on top of the sheets on his bed and lies Brooke down, lining pillows along one side of the mat in case she rolls. To barricade the opposite side Castle uses his own body, stretching out to watch his niece as she reaches up to grab at a soft cloth elephant.

The girl keeps turning her head to glance at him, her mouth stretching wide into a smile at the ridiculous faces he pulls every time she does. Letting himself relax fully, Castle curls one hand around the tiny foot and runs his thumb along her toes.

Losing himself completely in the little girl, Rick never even hears the door. A knee pressing into the mattress at his spine has his body rolling so he ends up on his back, gazing up at Kate. She sends that gorgeously soft smile down to him, leaning in for a tender kiss before she rounds the bed and climbs in to block off Brooke's other side.

The mat is small enough that Castle can easily reach her, stretching out the arm previously trapped underneath him to graze his knuckles at her cheek and pillowing his head against his bicep. He watches her smooth her thumb under Brooke's eye, support herself on an elbow to lean in and kiss the crown of the girl's head, her cheek.

"You're early." He says eventually, hates himself for it.

Kate laughs, more soft sigh than any real volume, and cards her fingers through his hair. "I finished up all my paperwork. Wanted to come home and see my family. What did you guys do today?"

"Hit the park for a while. Saw the ducks. She liked watching them be fed. Then we came home, I wrote while she napped and we've been playing ever since."

Kate's mouth quirks up at the corners as if she wants to smile but doesn't quite remember how, and she takes a moment to chew on her bottom lip. He doesn't push her, doesn't do anything more than circle his thumb over her cheek the same way she did to their niece.

He watches the work of her throat as she swallows, her lashes tremulous and drifting as she gathers the courage to speak. "Is this what it would be like?"

"What what would be like?"

"Missing so much of it. Coming home in the evening to hear all the stories. Not even making it home early enough to help with bath time and stories some nights. Is it really fair to do that to a child? To you?"

Castle's whole body contracts hard with the desperate need to touch her and he climbs out of bed, gathering the pillows to lie in the dent his weight leaves against the mattress. He slides back in behind Kate, settling his arm in the dip of her waist to draw her in close against him.

"You'd be here. I know you would. You put so much of yourself into everything, motherhood wouldn't be any different."

"There would be times when I couldn't be here, Rick. And I don't want to miss out on our children's lives because I'm in the box or arresting someone." He hears the deep-seated anguish in her voice, rough and thick and dark like the nights she must have lain awake thinking about this, trying to figure out how she could someday make it work.

"That's just a part of life, Kate. But you'd be here for the important parts. Our kids will be so lucky to have you as their mother."

Kate rolls onto her back to look at him, hooking an arm around his neck to draw him down for a kiss. She drinks deep, taking more from him than he was anticipating until a moan comes tumbling out. Against his mouth, she murmurs as if she doesn't want Brooke to hear.

"It was always a part of the plan, until I became a cop. And then I figured I'd never do it. My mom's case was my baby. It never afforded me the chance to even meet someone I could consider starting a family with. And then there was you."

"There will always be me." Castle can't help but promise her, settling his mouth at her cheekbone.

Kate turns a smile into his cheek, tugging his shirt free from his pants to rest slender fingers against his side. "I know. I know that you're an amazing father, and our kids would always have you there. But I know what it's like to lose a parent, Rick. I don't know if I could run that risk every day."

"So don't."

It's the wrong thing to say. He knows that even before the shockwaves of tension tear through her, body stiffening in his arms. She fights her way free of his embrace and sits up, bringing her knees to her chest to rest her chin atop them.

"I love my job."

"I know you do."

"Please don't give me an ultimatum." She grits out, the trembling in her voice carefully contained but still enough to send shame pouring through him.

"That's not what this is." Castle sits up and settles his arm around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her temple as she leans against him. "I'm just saying it's an option, that's all. I'm completely willing to work with you to get the balance between your job and our family right, but there are other options too."

"I want both. And that's selfish, and I kind of hate myself for it, but it's true. I don't want to give up my job, but I don't want to lose out on having a family either."

Rick rests two fingers underneath her chin and turns her face in to him, kissing her until she goes limp and eases them both to lie back down. Kate's head pillowed against his chest, he smoothes a hand through her hair over and over.

"Okay. So you do your job, but you work the hours that everyone else works. Not your own superhuman ones. And then when the work is done, you come home to me and to our children."

"I can do that."

He grins, kisses the corner of her mouth, the paper-thin skin at her eyelid. "But do you _want_ to? You want me to get you pregnant, Kate Beckett?"

"Yeah. I do."

* * *

**TBC. Might be a small delay though, I'm out of town Sunday through Wednesday. I'll do my best.**


	4. Chapter 4

"So I was thinking Thai, but I'm open to suggestions." Castle says, coming out of their bedroom with his hair still damp enough that coalescent droplets cling to the very ends, threating to freefall down to his jaw. He rakes his hand through the dark mop, grimacing as it comes away wet and he has to wipe it off against his pants.

And Kate can't help the stretch of her mouth into a sappy and entirely ridiculous smile. For him, as always. She jiggles her knees underneath Brooke to get the little girl's attention. "Hey baby, look at your uncle. He forgot to dry off properly. Isn't he silly?"

"I was hurrying."

"I can tell." She smirks at him, hooking an arm tight around Brooke's stomach where it's soft and round with baby fat so she can stretch her other hand towards him, reel him in. He curls an arm around her shoulders and trails his fingertips down to skim the crown of their niece's head.

Castle's mouth lands at her cheek with so much tenderness, the way their bodies meet always cutting swathes through the teasing and the fighting and the sighs that feel a little too much like real frustration. At their core, the two of them entwine in adoration.

To lose him now would be like having to unstitch herself, come undone in the process. Not that that's going to happen. Low down in her stomach, swarms of butterflies send tiny ripples of desire racing through her system.

They came in hoards when he quietly stood up from behind her, tucked their drowsy niece safely back into the bassinet and returned to stretch himself along the length of her, lithe and immediately responsive. He kissed her with her confession thick around them, coming in to lie flush against their lines and curves like an unshakeable truth.

_Yes, Castle. She wants to get pregnant._

Not. . .right now. She's not about to just throw away her contraceptives and let go of any and all self-control she tries to pretend that she possesses. But at some point in the future, yes. She would like to have his children.

She can think of nothing else she wants more. Her whole body sings with delight at the prospect. And from the way he breaks into a grin every time they make eye contact she'd guess that he feels the same.

"Thai sounds great. I'll bathe her while you order."

His arm drops from around her shoulders and he sits back, knees carefully pressed together. His eyes track the crease of his pants and settle on the floorboards, steadily not coming anywhere close to being in range of making eye contact with her.

"Right. Yeah." He mutters, sliding his phone free from his pocket so obscenely slowly that Kate can't help the exasperated sigh, loud enough that it makes Brooke startle and tip her head backward to stare at her aunt.

Kate takes a moment to contort her face into something that makes her niece smile before she shifts closer to him on the couch, her free hand coming up to flirt with his jawline as she leans in. Against his mouth, she hovers close enough to taste. "You wanted to do it?"

"No." He lifts his chin to brush his mouth over hers, sweet and not at all satisfying. "Not- no."

"Then what?"

All of the fight drains out of him and he falls forward, his forehead meeting her clavicle. His groan travels down the footholds of her ribcage and curls in the hollowed out place at her hipbones, a tide of gooseflesh in its wake. "It's stupid."

"Tell me." Kate cradles the back of his head, her lap suddenly filled with _two_ children. And it's not news to her that Castle has a childish side, that he finds it physically impossible to be serious for any sustained length of time, but this is a little much even for him.

Pushing on his shoulder until he sits back from her again, Kate sets her hand at his knee and waits him out.

"I wanted. . .to watch you do it."

"That's it?" Her eyebrow arches almost of its own accord and Beckett presses her thumb into the cleft of his chin, coming in to press her smile to the seam of his mouth. "Castle, I already knew that. I know you love watching me with her."

"I love this side of you. It's kind of weird to see. I mean, I've seen you _shoot _people. I never would have guessed how amazing you'd be with kids."

Her cheeks flame at that, his adoration inherent in every word that trips off of his tongue. Easy, as if he's not affording himself the time to think about it. "I've always loved kids. That innocence, you know? Finding joy in the simple things. We could learn a lot from them."

"And we will." In his voice, the whole of their future spools together into something fragile but here, beautiful and calling out for her touch.

He beams at her, standing up from the couch and taking her hand to tug her up too. She ends up pressed half against his side, Brooke sandwiched between them, and something about it feels so completely perfect that Kate presses her face into his shoulder and closes her eyes to savour the tranquillity humming in every cell.

She lets him lead her back into the bathroom, propping herself up with a hip against the doorframe and watching as he fills the baby bathtub. He checks the temperature against his wrist and turns over his shoulder to glance at her, a smile quirking the corners of his mouth.

"You good?"

Sinking down to the tile, Kate stretches her legs out in front of her and rests the baby in the valley of her thighs, cushioning her there so she can get her undressed. "We're fine."

"Great. I'll order and watch at the same time, then." Castle settles himself on the closed lid of the toilet and pulls out his phone, tapping in the number for the Thai place from memory.

Taking a moment to observe how he watches her, Kate decides to immerse herself completely in the grinning baby girl in her lap. It takes almost no effort at all to tune out the sound of Castle's voice, not when Brooke is grasping for the fingers descending towards her.

A tiny fist wraps around Kate's index finger and she grins, leaning down to scatter kisses across the little girl's forehead and cheeks and blowing raspberries in the crook of her neck where she's warm and sweaty with sleep that have giggles spilling from the font of her mouth.

She manages to navigate the romper and its hundred thousand poppers without obstacle, but getting the girl herself out of it is in practice so much more complicated than she theoretically assumed. How is it that Brooke has suddenly grown several extra limbs and is proceeding to wave them around so rapidly that Kate can't even get a hold of _one_?

Eventually, after stooping to pleading with the four month old and praying that Castle is too distracted with his phone call to pay attention to what she's doing; Kate manages to get the baby down to just her diaper.

Castle changed her in between their too-heated, too-fast make out session and the achingly cold shower he took, so it's a simple matter of undoing the tabs and setting her squirming, naked niece into the bathtub.

Kate manoeuvres the girl and cradles her skull in her palm, a hand free to swirl in the water and splash it over her. Brooke's little face crumples, her lower lip trembling as her eyes screw closed and she starts to wail.

"Oh, baby, Mommy said you like bath time. You're okay, come on. Shh."

She leans in to press a kiss to the girl's forehead, hovering there as if the closeness of her body can offer some small comfort. At her side, Castle gets to his knees on the tile and slides a hand into the water with her.

"If you support her shoulders a little more like this she'll feel more secure. Might make her feel better about it." He circles her wrist in two fingers and guides her hand to the correct position at Brooke's back, covering it in his palm and nudging his fingers in between her own.

Kate wriggles her way out from underneath him and sits back on her heels, pressing a wrist to her forehead a moment and using it to scrub back from her face the tiny wisps of hair that escaped from her ponytail. Eyes burning with hot and entirely stupid tears, she stares at the stretch of her pants over her knees.

Castle finishes up with bathing their niece and lifts her free from the tub, swaddling her in a towel and cradling her as he curls his fingers around Kate's shoulder. "Hey, don't beat yourself up. It takes a while to work out what you're doing. Should have seen me with newborn Alexis."

"I made her cry."

"Here." Kate takes the baby from him, towel and all, and cradles the girl close to her chest. Warm and soft and beaming up at her, Brooke splays her hand at Kate's clavicle and brings the other to tangle in Beckett's hair.

She lays her head against Kate's chest and chews on her own fist, already going limp with contentment. Kate kisses the downy hair over and over, draws in that distinct clean-baby smell.

"See. She adores you."

Kate tightens her arms around the girl and buries her nose in the crook of her neck, taking a moment to get herself together. It's so _pathetic_ and her cheeks are aflame, but she's filling up with doubt like a rising tide and she already tastes salt at the back of her throat.

"I'm going to be so clueless."

"Kate," Castle laughs, shifting closer to hook an arm at her shoulders and bring them both in against his chest. He sets his grin against her cheek and rests the tip of his finger against Brooke's palm until her fist curls around the digit. "You think there's a parent in the world that doesn't feel that way? And don't forget I've done all of this before. I'll be right there the whole time."

"That's. . .worse."

She bites at her lip and tries desperately not to look at him, busying herself instead with drying all of the creases and folds of her niece's body.

"Worse how?" Castle sits back as if he can tell that she needs room to accommodate her shame, can't bear to have him near for this.

"That we're not in it together. Learning how to do this together. You'll be laughing at me while I'm getting the most basic things wrong."

He clutches at her, cupping her jaw to bring her face up to his so he can lay claim to her mouth, stroking his tongue inside. It's entirely too hot considering the baby in her arms, but Kate can't help herself. She arches into him and releases a breathy moan that curls like mist around the sentry row of his teeth.

"Kate, no. This is the first time. This will be my first time with our baby. Yours and mine. And anyway, I haven't had a baby for twenty years. Some of it is second nature, but a lot of it is brand new to me as well. Every moment of it I'll be with you, screwing up just as much. Probably worse."

"Okay. Yeah, okay." Kate murmurs, her palm somehow pressed to his chest so she feels the desperate thud of his pulse against her heartline. "Right. Sorry. I was being stupid."

"A little bit, yeah." He teases, taking the baby from her arms and standing to head out to the changing mat he left on their bed. Stopping in the doorway, Castle turns back and levels her with a gaze that makes her liquid, would floor her were she not already cross-legged on the tile. "And Kate? I would never, ever laugh at you. Not now, and especially not when it comes to our children."

She watches him go, muttering quietly to their niece as he lays her down on the changing mat and gets her into a diaper so swiftly Brooke hardly even seems to notice. Kate comes to sit at the end of the bed and watch him change Brooke into a fresh romper.

The little girl looks so soft and warm and sleepy that once he's done, Kate can't help but scoop her up and cradle her close. Her mother always used to say that cuddles after bathtime were her favourite part of Kate's childhood. The weight of her daughter in her arms so perfect, so inherently right that she just wanted to bask in it.

Until this moment, Kate never quite understood.

Now, she almost wants to tell Castle _screw the wedding, screw protocol, let's make a baby_. That would be stupid, though. They're not there yet, even if the phantom weight of her own children against her chest is a near-constant thought.

And yeah, okay. She wants to be married to the father of her children, not just living with him. "How about May? May seventh."

"May?" Castle raises an eyebrow at her, having returned with a bottle for Brooke and a glass of wine for Kate.

"Marry me. In May."

Kate's heart lurches in her throat at the look on his face, how he sways on his feet and then almost drops her glass in his haste to get to her. Somehow, he manages to crush her in a hug and simultaneously avoid the baby.

"Three months? That's pretty soon."

"I know. I want to be your wife, Rick." She grins at him, kisses her way up from his chin to settle at his temple.

He juggles her and the glass and the bottle until she ends up mashed half against his chest, Brooke cradled in the crook of Kate's elbow with half her weight supported by her uncle's stomach. Kate lifts the bottle to the girl's mouth and waits for her to latch on, grinning when she finally does.

She's never actually fed a baby before. It's amazing, an amniotic bubble around the two of them that stretches to include Castle when he props his chin at her shoulder and kisses her earlobe. "May seventh is a Wednesday. How about the tenth?"

"Sure. May tenth. I don't want anything huge, Castle. Just the people who matter."

"Me either." His words hit the crag of her jaw, warming the skin with their absolute truth. "I've done that twice before and it kind of sucked. I was thinking we could do it in the Hamptons."

"Oh, perfect. Yeah. Let's get married in the Hamptons." Kate breathes, snuggling down against his body and letting her eyes slip closed. They haven't eaten dinner yet, it's probably not even six thirty, but suddenly she wants nothing more than to fall asleep to the steady card of his fingers through her hair.

"Hey Kate?" He murmurs, laughing at her a little. "Wake up a second."

"M'awake. What is it?"

"I love you."

A knock at the door trails after his words, spoiling the moment somewhat. He climbs out of bed and snags his wallet from the nightstand, coming to a halt at the touch of Kate's fingers to his wrist. "I love you too, Castle. Now go get dinner."

She hears him laughing all the way to the front door.


	5. Chapter 5

Kate settles her niece on the soft play mat on the living room rug, her eyes on the girl as she eats. Her knees pulled up onto the couch, she curls against Castle's side and rests her head against his shoulder, still trying to pull herself up out of sleep.

He keeps glancing between her and the baby, his whole face consumed with his smile. Every so often, his jaw hangs slack as he momentarily forgets to chew, and Kate has to keep biting at her lip so as not to laugh at him.

"So, how was work?"

Shaking her head, Kate settles her free hand against his cheek and leans in to kiss him, murmuring against his mouth. "I know what you're doing."

"Who me?" He chuckles, tongue darting out to taste the seam at the corner where her lips meet. "Not doing anything."

"You're trying to not mention any of the things you desperately want to mention."

His cheeks pink, the embarrassment making him look so much an adorable little boy that Kate lets her body fall into him, her arm twining around his waist. Castle buries his mouth against her hair and scatters kisses along the creamy line of her scalp, his own arm curling over her shoulders.

"You're going to be my wife. In three months. And I guess I'm waiting for you to freak out."

"Do you know the first time I thought about being married to you?" She hums. Brooke squirms on the mat, her gums smacking as she starts to whimper, and Kate leans down to gather the girl against her chest.

"At Ryan and Jenny's wedding? When you said third time's the charm, you were thinking about you and me."

It's not a question, his voice pitched low so it rips through her stomach like thunder. Kate turns Brooke around and settles the girl with her legs either side of Kate's thigh, bouncing her knee to keep her entertained while she dusts her mouth to the cleft of Castle's chin.

"No. Well, yeah. I was thinking about us. But that wasn't the first time. During that case with Kyra, she said something to me and it made me think about it. About what it would be like to be your wife."

"What did she say to you?"

Kate grins, kisses him soft and fleeting but still, always, infused with so much tenderness. The words flutter in her chest, where they have been a constant source of hope for four years now, and it feels amazing to finally be able to share them with him.

"She said _he's all yours_."

"Oh Kate." He draws her in against his chest, his biceps almost crushing her with the ferocity of his hug. "Kate. I've been yours since that first case."

Against her knee, the baby's whole body jolts. She goes totally quiet, and then it happens again. A hiccup. Kate's eyes dart to Castle's face to see the laughter creeping across his mouth and flooding the corners of his eyes. He takes Brooke from her and holds her tight under her arms, bouncing her against his thighs.

"Hi baby girl. Do you have the hiccups?"

Their niece hiccups again, the noise and the jolt of her body making all three of them laugh. Kate presses a kiss to the girl's nose, her forehead, and then shifts up to kiss Castle as well. He grins against her mouth, freeing a hand to cup the back of her head and keep her close.

"That's so cute. You are just so _cute_, aren't you baby girl?" Kate murmurs, completely giving up on not being a sap. The baby is warm and bubbling with joy and she looks so perfect in Castle's arms that Kate just wants to climb into bed and curl up with both of them, let herself melt against the sheets.

Castle laughs at her, kissing the end of her nose in echo of Kate's own show of affection for her niece. "She's not the only one who's cute, Katie."

"Don't call me that. Especially not when you've been talking all day about getting me pregnant. My _dad_ calls me that."

He snorts so loudly that Brooke startles in his arms, wriggling her way free from his grip in an attempt to turn and look at him. The baby smacks her little fist against Castle's cheek and giggles at his dramatic show of pain, repeating the move again and again until Kate catches her flailing hand and brings it up to her mouth.

"Sorry. Yeah. That's kinda gross, huh?"

"_So_ gross." Kate agrees.

The baby hiccups again, mashing her face into Castle's shirt and giggling against him. It's seriously adorable, the wash of surprise over her face each time her body jerks, the momentary catch of her breath and then the eruption of laughter. Kate tugs her phone free from her pocket and opens the camera application, framing both her fiancé and her niece in the shot.

Castle props her chin against the top of the girl's head and grins at her. And she's so relieved to see that it's a real smile, his most genuine one, and not the one she's so often faced with when she photographs him.

Well, that's not fair. It's not so bad anymore. Not after almost two years of being with him. She's seen him sweet and shy as he falls asleep next to her, intense and passionate when he hovers over her in bed, bubbling with effervescent joy as they walk through the park.

That man, the one from the book jackets and page six, she doesn't see him anymore. If she lets herself think about it, she never really did.

Brooke's mouth opens wide on a yawn and Kate puts her phone away, freeing her hands to scoop the girl up and cradle her in both arms like a newborn. "You ready for sleep, sweetheart?"

"Her and me, both." Castle says, stretching both arms above his head and arching his back. The move reveals an enticing slice of his abdomen, the patch where stomach meets hip like silk. It was one of the first places on his body she ever got to taste, and ever since that first night the meeting of his skin and her mouth feels like coming home.

"Shall I put you both to bed?" Kate smirks, getting up from the couch and raking her fingers through his hair. He grunts at her, standing to his full height so Beckett feels suddenly small against his chest. She never would have guessed, but she loves how his body dwarfs hers, how it makes her feel safe and cherished and always so loved.

"Put Brooke in the crib. And then you and I can reacquaint ourselves with the couch."

An eyebrow creeping up to meet her hairline, Kate's mouth stitches into a seam as she regards him. "The couch? What's wrong with your bed?"

"Nothing. It just creeps me out, the thought of her being in there while we're. . .cuddling."

"_Cuddling_." Kate scoffs, rolling her eyes at him over her shoulder as she moves for their bedroom. "Castle, she's four months old. She won't get offended if you say the word sex."

She watches the thread of tension in his jaw, how it jumps like an electric current on its way to traverse the rest of his body. "Kate. Put the baby down. Please."

Kate leaves him in the living room and settles Brooke in the bassinet, bending almost in half to kiss the girl's cheek. "Goodnight, baby girl. Sweet dreams."

And then she moves back through to the living room and her fiancé and his _mouth_.

* * *

Eventually, after the hot rush of desire has ebbed from his system and he can breathe again, Rick manages to sit up and take Kate with him. Shirt creased from where he shoved it up to get his mouth on her and her underwear somewhere across the room, she looks so completely delicious that he could go again.

Despite the fact that two minutes ago he was completely sure that his heart was about to just cease functioning in his chest, he could totally go again. Right now.

Instead, he paints her mouth with his own in a chaste kiss and fishes her leggings from the floor, tugging them back up her legs. He pulls on his own sweatpants too and then he lies down again, his spine flush with the back of the couch and Kate curled in the cove of his body.

"Wow. Who knew just practicing would be so intense?"

She laughs at that, full-bodied and without a trace of self-consciousness. "It's always intense with you and me."

"That's true. But this time was especially. . .wow."

"Were you thinking about it?" She rolls onto her back and sets her palm at his cheek, circling her thumb against the cleft of his chin and smiling softly. Serene and gorgeous.

He kisses the smudge of her mouth, snuggling down further into the couch and hiding his grin at Kate's hair when she curls into his chest. "Until you made me stop thinking."

"I was too."

"You know what's fantastic?" Rick smirks, letting his eyes drift closed. They should get up, shower and change, but right now he just wants to relish the languid line of Kate's body next to his, the warmth that floods out from the epicentre of everywhere their skins kiss. "When you have a bump and we get to try tons of new positions."

"You'll still want me when I'm huge?" Kate asks, already half-asleep. Her hand comes up to slide underneath his shirt, two fingers pressed below his ribcage. He's gotten used to the touch now, how the brush of her skin right there feels like her grounding him.

Castle brings his arm tighter around her, his palm spanning the back of her skull to tuck her head underneath his chin. Sometimes, nights like this one when he feels he could burst with love for her and just leak all over the hardwood, he needs to have her close.

"I always want you. And when you're gorgeous and swollen with our child? God, Kate, I can't think of anything sexier."

His eyes closed, he feels the heat that floods into her cheeks against his chest, even with the cotton of his shirt between them. There's a long moment of complete quiet as Kate digests what he's saying, and then she presses a kiss to the fabric over his heart. "I guess I can learn to love your grey hair then."

"Excuse me?" Castle sits bolt upright, struggling his way free from under Kate's body to climb off of the couch and charge for the bathroom, hitting the light switch so ferociously he has to take a second to make sure he hasn't smacked it right off the wall.

So close to the mirror that his nose brushes the glass, Rick inspects his hair at the temples for any hint of grey. And there's nothing. Of course there's nothing. She's just playing with him. But even so, his heart is pounding hard in his chest.

He doesn't turn at the sound of her footsteps, lowering his eyes so as not to accidentally meet hers in the mirror. Kate slides her arms around his waist, her chest pressed to his back, and she arches onto tiptoe to get her mouth at his ear.

"I'm just teasing. You don't have grey hair. But even if you did. . .I wouldn't mind."

"Oh really?" He turns in the circle of her arms, peppering kisses to the arc of her smile. "That does it for you, huh Beckett?"

"_You_ do it for me." She shrugs at him as if it's nothing, but he sees the tremor of insecurity zip down her spine, sees the way she rocks back on her heels as if she needs a little bit of space from him after a confession like that.

"Shit, Kate. God. You can't- I need- the baby." He splutters, his stupid tongue a too-thick and entirely useless thing in his mouth. His teeth also, slamming into each other as if they haven't been working in collaboration for forty five years now. As if the top and bottom rows have never before met and are taking the opportunity to violently introduce themselves.

Kate swats at his chest, pushing him backwards. He follows blindly, too busy trying to get his mouth against hers and pray that at least this, he can do well. Take her apart the same way she does to him.

"The shower. Go. _Go_." She hisses at him, peeling off her shirt and then her leggings so lightning fast he barely has time to crane his neck in search of a glimpse of her naked skin before she's stepping inside of the shower stall and turning her back on him.

Not that her back is, uh. . .a problem.

* * *

"Why am I so _tired_?" Kate groans, her words trailing off as her jaw cracks wide open on a yawn. She nuzzles her nose into Castle's chest, his arm slung around her shoulders almost haphazardly. It's sweet, the way he tucks her in close against his side.

She feels him stir and realises too late that the rise and fall of his chest next to her has been laboured with sleep for a while now and she probably woke him with her whining. Well, she can't let him sleep on the couch. And this way is kinder than how she _would_ have done it.

"Time s'it?"

"Ten thirty. You ready for bed?" Kate hums, her voice soft and inoffensive. She can't seem to help herself when he's all rumpled with sleep and completely adorable like this, it takes everything she has not to melt entirely.

"You coming too?"

"Yeah." She stands, taking his hand to tug him up with her and pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. "I'm exhausted. And I haven't even spent all day with a baby."

"No, you haven't. But I thoroughly wore you out." He nudges his head against hers even as she's leading him towards their bedroom, his body a furnace behind her.

God, she loves nights like this. When they're both teetering right on the precipice of sleep, crawling between the sheets and snuggling up to share the blazing heat of his body feels absolutely perfect. Such a blissful relief to finally close her eyes and just rest. With him there at her side.

Kate scissors her legs to get comfortable, inordinately grateful that they already went through their nightly routines before they settled on the couch to watch a movie and now she can just-

Stop holding on.


	6. Chapter 6

Kate rouses with the inside of midnight pushing up against her skin, thick with ink and the quiet rush of never-ceasing traffic in the street below. Struggling her way free from the sheets, her toes curl violently against the chill of the hardwood. In the bed, Castle lies on his back. His face is slack with sleep and Kate can't help but take a moment to watch him.

So beautiful. Sleep makes him look younger than his years so every time she wakes up next to him Beckett finds herself faced with a hot surge of silly affection for the little boy in him.

Speaking of children, Brooke's fussing grows ever more insistent. Still not particularly loud, not enough to rouse Castle, but the girl is undeniably upset. Kate moves to the bassinet and lifts the girl, her blanket getting caught between their bodies.

She does her best to fix it around her niece, cocoon the baby in something of home. Arranging Brooke until the girl's head is pillowed against her shoulder, Kate curls her arm underneath the baby and splays her other hand at her back to keep her close.

Slipping into the living room, Kate flicks on a lamp and stands for a moment looking out over her city, the pool of light that splashes onto the floor just touching her toes. The baby in her arms is deliciously warm, little mouth open against her clavicle, and Kate watches the slow thread of partygoers, tourists and late shift workers through the streets.

This has always been one of her favourite things about the loft. In those early months when she'd wake up with her heart so thick in her throat that her veins cried out for oxygen, still trying to let herself relax into it, she used to stand for hours and just watch the people far below her, scurrying like ants beneath the magnifying glass.

She loves him. She does. But in the beginning, without the brush of his mouth or the tender arc of his smile to distract her, there were times when she panicked. It took her some time to wrap her brain around the fact that this is it.

There will never be anyone after Castle. No one else she could possibly let in as far as Rick has managed to get. Probably, if she's honest with herself, no one that would bother to try.

And now she's standing here, silhouetted against the windowpane by the muted lamplight with her niece in her arms and a twist in her gut. Brooke begins to whimper again, quiet little noises that sound as much like indignation as Kate imagines a four month old is capable of.

"I know, sweet girl. You're hungry. I'll stop daydreaming." She tightens her arms around the girl and presses scattered kisses to her wrinkled little forehead, moving over to the refrigerator. Staring at the door that looms before her, Kate wonders how on earth she's going to manage to heat up a bottle one-handed.

Of course she could just put Brooke back down in the bassinet, but the tension that hums just underneath her powdery, perfect skin suggests that that wouldn't be a great idea. The girl isn't just looking for food but for the closeness of another human being, someone to stand in for her mother.

Her cries grow higher still in pitch and Kate winces, bouncing her niece gently in her arms in an attempt to soothe. "Okay baby, it's coming. Shh, it's okay. You're okay."

Brooke's face is red now, her eyes screwed up as her mouth opens wide on a cry that seems ripped right from her core. The helplessness comes for Kate like a sucking tide, threatening to drag her down into the sweet peace of drowning.

The girl wants her mother. And Kate knows that feeling all too well, knows what it's like to have a hole open up in your chest, the jagged edges tearing you to ribbons as you fall inside.

Well, okay. Perhaps not. After all, Brooke is four months old. And facing only one night apart from her mother, not the rest of her life. It's just the anguish of her cries and the too-low numbers that blink at her in red from the microwave and having utterly no idea of what to do.

Nothing. She has to feed the baby, but she's terrified to put her down. And that's so stupid; she's a damn homicide detective. It absolutely should not be this hard.

"Hey. You two okay?" The ripple of Castle's voice brings with it a rush of relief that threatens to bring her to her knees right here in the middle of the kitchen.

Kate turns to watch him moving through the living room, sleep dragging at his heels and tripping him up, making him crash into the end table, the armchair. Her eyes flood with silly tears and she dips her head to hide them, setting her mouth at Brooke's crown.

When Castle reaches her, he doesn't try to take the baby and she is inordinately grateful. Instead, he wraps his arms around the both of them and bears Kate's weight as she crashes into his chest.

"Hey, my girls. Don't cry, baby. You're okay." He kisses the girl's cheek, offers her a grin so wide and ridiculous it seems to momentarily startle Brooke into silence. And then he looks at Kate, and she has never been able to hide from him. "Kate, love, why didn't you wake me? You don't have to do this by yourself."

"I just wanted-" her voice breaks on a sob and she grits her teeth, pressing her forehead hard into his clavicle as if it will help her to just get a damn hold of herself. "I wanted to prove that I could."

"I know you could. Of course you could. But why try when you don't have to? Standing in the kitchen by yourself at three in the morning with a screaming baby is only going to make you miserable, Beckett."

Oh, bless this beautiful man and his words. Her last name makes her stand up a little straighter, stokes the ever-present fire of that part of herself. It feels like steel, caressing the hard edges of bone at her spine, her ribs and shoulder blades.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no. Don't be." He kisses her, close-mouthed and mindful of the stale taste underneath both of their tongues. Kate lets him take the baby, freeing her hands to get a bottle from the fridge and put it in the warmer.

Rounding the counter, Kate rests her temple against Castle's bicep and traces the curve of the baby's cheek with a fingertip, letting a smile overtake her face when Brooke grabs on. So tiny and beautiful and God, she can't wait to have her own child in her arms.

"I want to start trying. Soon." She murmurs, almost to herself.

Castle curls the fingers of his free hand under her chin, lifting her face to him for a kiss. She can feel how badly he wants to stroke deep inside of her mouth and lay claim but something, the morning breath or the baby watching their every move, keeps him chaste. Just brushing his mouth insistently to hers over and over.

"Can we wait until after the wedding?" He hums, voice low to help soothe Brooke. It seems to be working, her cries have tailed off into the occasional whimper as if her uncle's presence has thoroughly distracted her from her earlier hunger. "I want you to be my wife first."

Kate huffs a breath of laughter even as she's nuzzling her nose against his neck and allowing herself to imagine it. Walking down the aisle towards him, tall and overjoyed and so handsome in his suit she just knows he'll make her mouth dry.

"Oh what, now you're being all traditional?"

He shrugs, wincing as it jostles the sleepy girl in his arms and her eyes startle open again, mouth opened to renew her wailing. "I don't want your dad to kill me. And also, yeah. I want to get it right this time."

"Okay. Yeah, let's get married first." She grins, finds herself totally unable to stop the slow spread of joy across her face. It buzzes in her fingertips, right down into her toes like static against the tile.

"And Kate? Part of getting it right means sharing it with someone. We do this as a team. You and me."

Kate beams at him, pressing her mouth to the scattering of stubble across his jaw and raking her teeth gently over the smooth patch at his throat where it doesn't grow. "Partners."

"Exactly." Castle grins. He looks so pleased with her, that she wants to do this, and it makes her whole body flush with something like pride. The warmer beeps at them before she can do something silly like tell him just how much she really does need him and Kate goes for the bottle, trembling just a little with relief.

It's not that she doesn't want him to know, exactly. It's just that he fell in love with Detective Beckett, strong and fiercely independent, and sometimes she's still afraid that he won't want to see her vulnerable side.

Okay, yes. Rationally she knows how stupid that is, unfair to him really. But it's three am, cut her some slack.

Kate follows him over to the couch and hands him the bottle, content to curl up at his side and watch him feed Brooke. The baby goes finally, blissfully quiet, and Kate wraps her fingers around a tiny foot, her eyelashes drifting closed.

"See," he grins into her hair, "even the middle of the night feeds aren't that bad. And if you wanted to breastfeed it would be even easier. I'll bring you tea and toast and you can stay in bed with the baby."

God, just hearing him talk about it tightens the fist of want in her stomach, her body rioting in anticipation. How much she wants to see him hold their child for the first time, read stories and pull stupid faces and always be available for cuddles.

Castle gave Alexis the whole universe. Not just in material things but in experiences, depth of knowledge. He made everything as rich and fulfilling as he could, and there's not even a seed of doubt that he will do the same for their children.

"Castle?"

"Mm?" He aims a kiss at her cheek and falls somewhere more towards her ear but it's still good, still sweet. Sometimes she prefers the kisses he drops in passing to when he actually tries. It's nice to see which parts of her he loves most when he's not really paying attention.

"Thank you."

And she's so grateful that he doesn't make her elaborate, seems to just know how her chest swells with gratitude. For him, for this life she's so blessed with. "You're welcome, Kate. Thank _you_."

* * *

It's not even the baby that wakes him.

It's Kate, leaning in to press her mouth to his forehead, her fingertips just skimming his cheek. "I'm going to work. I gave her another bottle. Call me when you're awake."

Oh, he loves her. Her and short sentences, because she knows he's really not equipped to deal with anything more complex at this time in the morning. The softness of her body, how a part of her yearns to melt back into the sheets with him and she doesn't even bother with trying to hide it.

"M'kay. Bye. Call you. Bye."

His eyes still closed, he hears the soft breath of her laughter and imagines the parentheses it carves into her cheeks and around her eyes, the glitter of joy in them as she regards him. He doesn't hear her go, already slipping underneath the surface to glance up at wakefulness, blinding above him, and then sink down into ink and peace.

* * *

The next time he wakes, his eyes come unstuck easily and he can sit up without feeling still tethered to his pillow. Castle slides out of bed and moves to the bassinet. Somehow, miraculously, Brooke is sleeping.

He debates for a moment, and then shrugs. Moving for the shower, he leaves the bathroom door open. He can see right into the crib from the shower, so even if he can't hear over the water he'll know if she wakes up.

Keeping it quick, he scrubs shampoo through his hair and lathers on his shower gel, barely even giving it time to touch him before he's rinsing off again. He steps out of the cubicle and knots a towel at his hips, using Kate's from this morning to scrub over his hair.

It smells like a delicious combination of the both of them and it's a concerted effort not to just sink down onto the tile and bury his face in the soft cotton.

Hurrying through shaving and getting dressed, Rick is relieved to find Brooke awake but seemingly content. He scoops her up and grins, kissing both of her cheeks on the way through to the living room. "Good morning, beautiful girl. Aunty Kate already gave you a bottle, hmm?"

Brooke gurgles at him and he laughs, shifting her higher up his shoulder so he can support her with one arm. The other free to get a cup of coffee.

"Oh, look at that, she made coffee too. Your aunt is a wonderful woman." He grins against his niece's hair, bouncing her until she giggles. She splays a hand at his cheek and buries her face against his neck, suddenly shy.

Rick can't actually wipe the smile off of his face at all so he lets it bloom as he pours a fresh mug of coffee and adds cream. Moving to the couch, he eases the baby down to the soft play mat and wraps both hands around his mug, the liquid tasting all the better having been infused with Kate's love.

Oh God, he's a sap this morning. He really ought to get it together, only he's not entirely sure _how_. Not when every time he lets his mind wander for a moment he's suffused with images of a tangible future, his wife and his children and the life he never quite dared hope for.

He watches Brooke reaching up to bat at the plush elephant, taking slow drags of his coffee and curling his toes until they crunch. A knock at the door startles him so hard he almost spills the coffee all over his lap. He wasn't expecting it this early, but then he supposes if he were the Ryans he'd want to rush home too.

Castle gathers his niece up and answers the door, ushering Kevin and Jenny inside the loft and handing the baby over to her mother. Jenny's eyes are full with tears she doesn't let fall, her face buried in the soft crease of her daughter's neck.

"Hey guys. The funeral okay?"

"It was really great actually, as funerals go. Glad to be home, though." Ryan says, kissing the crown of his baby girl's head and then his wife's cheek.

Jenny glances up at him, her palm curled around the back of Brooke's skull. "She was okay?"

"Oh yeah, fine. She's a really wonderful kid." Castle beams at them, smoothing his thumb over his niece's little fist.

Ryan shakes his hand, his other palm settled at the curve of Jenny's spine. "Thank you so much for having her. If there's anything we can ever do for you, let us know. Kate too."

"Of course. It really wasn't a problem."

Castle moves through to the study, finds that Kate has already packed up all of the things the Ryans left for their daughter. He hefts the bag over his shoulder and grabs the bassinet, moving back through to the entryway and snagging the soft play mat on his way.

Ryan takes his belongings back from Castle and opens the door, ushering his wife into the hallway. "We'll get out of your hair. Thanks again."

"See you at the precinct. Lovely to see you, Jenny." Rick says, leaning back against the doorframe and watching the three of them as they make their way towards the elevator. They look so happy, the three of them together.

He wants it. He wants it so badly he's glad for the wall at his spine, the image in his mind threatening to knock him right over.

And the best part?

The best part is that he gets to have it, do all of it. With the woman he loves beyond his capacity to love.

* * *

**A/N: I'm marking this as complete, but I'm almost certain that there'll be an epilogue. Don't hold me to that though.**

**Thank you all for your feedback, your feels and your fangirling. It has been truly a joy to write and to see your reactions. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Epilogue**

* * *

Kate wakes to the insistent buzz of her cell phone against the side table, snaking a hand free from the snare of their sheets to swat at it. Curling her fingers around the offending device, she draws it to her ear and presses accept without looking.

"Beckett."

"It's time."

Sitting bolt upright as awareness rips its way down her spinal column, excitement collecting like static charge in each vertebrae, Kate nudges at Castle's arm until he rouses. Her husband stares up at her, his eyes unfocused as if he sees her through the filmy lens of his dreamscape, hair like an oil spill in the darkness. "Castle. Ryan's on the phone. I gotta go get Brooke."

"Right. Okay. Need me to do anything?"

She leans in to kiss him softly, her sweet, beautiful man. "No. I shouldn't be gone long. If he wakes up try him with the formula if he wants it."

"Will do. Love you." He murmurs, turning to mash his face against the side of her pillow. Okay, she's lost him then. It's a miracle really that she was able to drag him out of sleep to speak with her at all.

Kate slides her way free from the sheets and pads across the room, stopping to gaze into the bassinet at her son. At seven months, the boy has been known to sleep through the night once or twice, and since Kate fed him a couple of hours ago she hopes he won't wake before she returns home.

She traces the curve of his cheek and tucks the blanket a little closer around him, smoothing two fingers over the dark cap of hair. It's getting a slight curl to it that makes him almost cherubic. So completely perfect.

A part of her always guessed that the marriage of their genes would turn out well, but she never could have imagined just how beautiful their son would be. His eyelids flutter and Kate withdraws her hand, careful not to wake him.

Since the day he was born, he's been hyperaware of his mother's presence. Even so much as the sound of her voice has been known to tug him up from sleep. And sometimes it causes problems, means that Castle is the one who has to put him down for naptime because he just wants to stare at his mother, but she won't deny the surge of bliss that crests through her when her baby boy gives her that smile that seems to say with such clarity _Mommy, I love you_.

Castle laughs about it, says that their son has a major crush on his mother. To which she usually offers some scathing remark about him taking after his father that makes Castle laugh and crush his mouth to hers.

Kate tugs on jeans and glances at herself in the mirror, decides to just stay in her sleep shirt. Shoving her feet into tennis shoes and grabbing a jacket from the closet, she pockets her phone and keys and moves for the front door.

It still tugs at her guts sometimes. Leaving the loft without her son. God knows what she'll do when she goes back to work next month.

She's so ready, for the thrill of the solve and the burn in her muscles as she chases down a suspect, for the cogs of their case to fit together in her mind and point her right at their killer. But a part of her is so not prepared for leaving her little boy every day.

Throughout the whole of her pregnancy she had worried that she'd miss the precinct too much to really settle into her maternity leave, but quite the opposite is true. Kate has adored every precious moment she's shared with her son and his father, learning all about who her baby is and watching his little personality bloom as he grows.

Castle has promised to keep her updated, send her endless texts and pictures of their boy, but it won't be quite the same. She wants to be here for all of it, everything.

At the crux of it, she just adores being a mother. She really does. And sometimes, in the middle of the night when her son wakes up and wants only her, she can't help but think about what Castle told her once, before they were married.

That her job is not her only option. That he has the means to support them indefinitely if she wanted to quit.

She doesn't want to quit. Or she doesn't think that she does, but the appeal of spending every day with her husband and her son is a siren song too sweet to ignore.

The elevator seems to take forever to sink to the lobby but then she's there and stepping off, nodding her greeting to the night doorman as she heads for the street. A cab pulls up at the opposite curb, the door opening wide to let the spill of partygoers exit. They're a giggling, stumbling, barely-legal mess of eyeliner and high heels and Kate can't help but smile as she crosses the street and climbs into the back of the cab.

Beckett gives the driver the Ryans' address and leans back against the seat, pulling her phone free from her pocket to rest against her thigh just in case. Anticipation hums low in her stomach and she has to battle with her own body so as not to squirm.

It's so exciting. She can remember it all too clearly. Seven months ago, waking up at five to a strange pressure low down in her abdomen. It felt immediately different to the Braxton Hicks, some core part of her aware that it was time.

She shook Castle awake and watched him for a moment, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. And then she said _let's go have a baby_.

Even now when she looks back on how he panicked, she can't help but laugh. He had bolted out of bed to grab the overnight bag they'd had sitting by the door for a week, called the car service as he hopped around the bedroom wrestling with his shoes.

And then he'd come to help her to the front door and there had been a moment of silent acknowledgment, a shared smile. That this was the day their lives changed forever, the day they met their son.

Of course, it's not quite the same for the Ryans. They've done this all once already with Brooke. But Kate imagines it to be no less exciting.

The cab pulls up outside the Ryans' building and Kate leans forward to talk to the driver. "Would you mind waiting? I'll be five minutes."

"I gotta keep the meter running." He grunts at her and she nods, stepping out of the cab and onto the sidewalk.

Forgoing the elevator in favour of the stairs, Kate makes it to the third floor apartment in record time and finds Ryan standing by the open front door with his daughter in his arms.

"See Brookie, here's Aunty Kate. She's going to look after you while Mommy and I are at the hospital."

"Hi beautiful girl." Kate reaches for her niece and holds the girl close to her chest, kissing the soft cheek and nuzzling at her neck until Brooke giggles and buries her face against Kate's clavicle. "You guys all good?"

"Yeah, just. . .things are moving fast. Thanks for getting here so quickly."

"Not a problem. Tell Jenny good luck from me." Kate grins, leaning in to kiss Ryan's cheek. He kisses his daughter's forehead and then hands her overnight bag to Beckett, watching until they're on the elevator before he goes back inside to his wife.

"Hey Brooke," Kate bounces the girl in her arms a little, keeping her close against her chest. "Are you excited for your baby brother or sister?"

"He can play with me." The little girl grins up at her aunt, struggling to get down. Kate sets her on the floor and takes one of the tiny hands in her own, her free hand falling to cup the back of the girl's skull. "When he bigger."

"That's right, sweetheart."

Brooke beams up at her aunt, reaching the hand not ensconced in Kate's up to curl tiny fingers in her belt loop. "Him play with Artie too?"

Kate can't help but grin at the nickname, her husband's face ripe with indignation in her mind's eye. He just gets so _obnoxious_ about it, tells her that Conan Doyle would be turning in his grave if he knew the torment inflicted upon his namesake.

Or something like that.

"I'm sure Arthur would love to play with him, baby girl. And while you're staying at mine and Uncle Rick's house today you can play with Artie too if you want."

"Uncle Rick will do pancakes?" Brooke tilts her head, those huge blue eyes wide and beseeching as ever. God, if Arthur ends up even half as adorable as his cousin Kate is just going to be absolutely ruined. She has yet to figure out how to say no.

The elevator doors open onto the lobby and Kate scoops her niece up again, balancing the girl against her hip as she grabs the overnight bag and steps out of the car.

A surge of gratitude wells in her chest at the sight of the cab still waiting for them at the curb. Sure, she's paying the guy, but there really wasn't anything to stop him abandoning them to the textured dark of four am.

Kate opens the door and pushes the bag in ahead of her, climbing inside and giving the driver the address for the loft. There's no child seat in this cab so she has to keep Brooke firmly in her lap, both arms around the girl.

She doesn't seem to mind, little body sinking back into Kate's chest, warm and lovely. "Okay sweetheart, when we get to my house you have to be a little bit quiet, okay? Uncle Rick is still sleeping. I can put on some cartoons for you if you want."

"You watch thems with me?" Brooke settles her head against Kate's shoulder, her hand clinging to her aunt's wrist.

"Of course I will. I might have to get Artie if he starts to cry though, okay?"

The little girl nods, her eyelids already drooping. "Him watch too cartoons."

"Yeah. We'll all watch until Uncle Rick makes us breakfast, how about that?" Kate cards a hand through the spill of curls down the girl's back, her free hand tight around Brooke's waist.

It's really wonderful, to have all three of their families be so close. Brooke equally content to fall asleep in Kate's arms or Esposito's. Artie's little face lighting up every time he sees his uncle Kevin. They're her work family, sure, and she trusts them with her life. She just never quite imagined what it would be like when all three of them settled into families of their own.

If something did. . .happen, to any one of them, their family wouldn't be left alone. Kate wishes she didn't need the reassurance, but it's good to have it to cling to all the same.

The cab pulls up at the curb and Kate pays the driver, sliding out with Brooke still cradled against her body. The doorman gets the door for her and she nods at him in gratitude, her mouth settled against the crown of Brooke's head.

In the elevator, Brooke rouses just enough to press the button for their floor and then she's dozing again, little body suddenly a dead weight in Kate's arms. In front of the loft door she drops the bag to free her hand, fishing around in her pocket for the key.

Unlocking the door, she's hit with a wall of sound before she even makes it over the threshold. In the kitchen, Castle shifts his weight back and forth from foot to foot, their son screaming in his arms.

"See buddy, here's Mommy now. You're okay." He murmurs against Arthur's ear, rounding the counter to exchange children with Kate.

As soon as he finds himself in his mother's arms, Artie goes quiet. He rubs his little face into Kate's chest and grabs for a handful of her hair. "Hey, my sweet boy. What's wrong?"

"I tried him with the formula and I changed his diaper and he was still yelling. He just missed you." Castle shrugs, arranging Brooke more comfortably in his arms so he can lean in and go for Kate's mouth. "He wasn't the only one."

"I was gone for what like, forty minutes?" She huffs a laugh at him, curling her fingers around the back of her son's skull to keep him close.

Kate buries her nose against the soft covering of hair and basks a moment in the sleep-warmed scent of him, like clean sheets and baby shampoo and the blurred colours of his dreams.

"Yeah. We missed you." Her husband grins, coming in to brush his mouth to her cheek and then down to their son's forehead. "How's Jenny?"

"Good, Ryan said. This one's beat, though." Kate nods towards their niece, smoothing her thumb under the girl's eye until the thick fringe of lashes just brushes against the edge of her nail.

Castle moves to the couch and settles Brooke out along it, snagging the blanket folded over the arm to tuck her in and slowly easing her shoes off of her feet. She doesn't even stir, already completely out, and Rick comes back to envelop Kate in his arms, a hand falling to span their son's back.

"I'll find that blow-up mattress later. You want to put her in our room?"

"I think so, yeah. We'll hear her if she wakes in the night, then." Kate settles her cheek against his shoulder and takes a moment to just rest, the two people she loves more than anything in the world here and warm against her.

"Okay. I might go back to bed for a while if that's okay with you?"

Kate kisses the cleft of his chin and steps away, her heart leaping into her throat when he leans in to kiss their son. "Sure. Wake you when we get hungry. I sort of promised Brooke you'd make pancakes."

He laughs at that, his face so rich with life as it creases up. "I see how it is. Okay, love. Yeah. Wake me when you need me."

"Always need you." She murmurs back to him, letting Artie draw her attention so she doesn't have to watch the wrecking ball of that statement as it tears through her husband. It's something he knows, of course, but she's never actually voiced it before.

Something about the weight of their son in her arms and the softness of his face as the sun battles its way up from between the canyons of city blocks to gild the edges of their early morning has words just falling from her tongue, all the ways she cages them in left useless.

"Need you too, Mrs Castle."

* * *

When Brooke wakes, she scrubs her hands against her eyes and sits up, unfocused and a little lost looking. Kate watches from the easy chair as her niece scans the room, takes a moment to recall where she is.

In her lap, Kate's son giggles at the clear plastic ring with all the little balls and helter-skelter spirals trapped inside to entertain him. He curls his fingers around it and claps his hands together, delighting in the clattering sound it makes.

Kate covers Artie's hands in her own and leans down, pressing her mouth to the shell of the tiny ear. "Hey little man. Your cousin's just waking up. Let's not make too much noise."

Arthur cranes his neck to stare at his mother, turning so far that Kate has to clutch at him to keep him cushioned safe against her thighs.

"Aunty Kate." Brooke says, sliding down the edge of the couch cushion until her feet hit the floor and she can pad across to where her aunt sits. "Mommy have my baby?"

"Not yet, sweet girl. Daddy will call us when it's time to go to the hospital and see Mommy and the baby, okay?"

Her little brow furrows as she ponders this and then she nods, gives Kate a shy smile. "Kay."

"You hungry, baby girl?"

"I have pancakes now Aunty Kate?"

Kate can't help but laugh at the earnest expression on the girl's face, eyes wide and beseeching. Brooke comes close enough to set her hand at her aunt's knee, leaning on Kate in order to kiss her cousin.

Almost full on the mouth, sloppy and a little gross, but it melts Kate's heart all the same. "I think pancakes is just what we need. You want to help me wake up Uncle Rick?"

"We can jump on him?"

Sharing a grin with her niece, Kate cups the back of Brooke's skull in her palm to steer her towards the bedroom, following behind with Artie secured against her chest. He watches his cousin run into the bedroom, all of his father's inquisitive nature present in him almost since the day he was born.

Kate scoops Brooke up and drops her in the centre of the mattress, three fingers coming up to cover her mouth and contain the laughter as Castle stirs, a hand coming up to cover his eyes. Brooke climbs onto her uncle's chest and cradles his face in her palms, patting his cheeks to rouse him.

"Wake up now, Uncle Rick. Time for pancakes."

To his credit, Castle somehow manages to make himself alert pretty much immediately, shooting a glare at Kate over their niece's shoulder as he scoops the girl up in a hug. "Is that right? Well it's lucky that my extra special assistant is here today, isn't it."

"I help, I help." Brooke shrieks, loud enough to make Arthur startle and wheel around to stare at her so violently Kate almost drops him. She tightens her arms around her son and comes to sit at the edge of the bed, brushing a kiss to her husband's mouth.

"Morning, Daddy. Sleep okay?"

"Yeah, good. The kids okay?" Castle reaches out for his son and Kate lets the baby go, her face unravelling into tenderness as her husband cradles their little boy against his chest, the plane of his abdomen suddenly dwarfing Arthur.

He's such a wonderful father. His whole life now is about Kate and Artie, every molecule of his being finely attuned to their every need. Since their son was born, Kate has been struck every day with just how incredible a man he is to do this for Alexis too, all alone.

And it does help to know that if something happened to her, if one day she never made it home, he'd be there for their son. Arthur wouldn't be left floundering in the rabbit hole and watching the sink of his father's bloated body further down into the bottle.

Jeez, she's morbid this morning. No more of that. She's here, her family are here, and she has every intention of basking in it.

Castle climbs out of bed with Arthur still in his arms, reaching down a hand for Brooke as well. Both kids held close against him, he moves through to the kitchen and hands the baby back to his mother, looking out an apron for Brooke to wear.

"Okay munchkin. Can you help me gather the ingredients?"

Brooke's little tongue pokes between her lips in concentration as she nods and Kate laughs, moving to sit at a barstool and watch the two of them in their elaborate pantomime.

Manoeuvring her son to get her hands underneath his armpits, Kate cups the tiny wings of his shoulder blades in her palms and holds him up, enough that he can bounce off of her thighs. Chubby legs bending and face contorted in joy, Kate can't help but reflect his smile.

Something about it, the abundance of her baby's delight and the patient rumble of her husband's voice through the dawn-soaked morning, seems fragile in its brilliance, as though if Kate doesn't acknowledge how sacrosanct this moment is, she might never find it again.

Closing her eyes, she sends silent thanks to whoever might be listening. For her family, for the way her heart soars inside of her chest, free from the birdcage of her grief.

For her happiness.

* * *

The call comes in at lunch, Castle almost knocking over Brooke's yoghurt in his haste to reach for Kate's cell phone. He swipes across the screen to answer and hits speaker, beaming at Beckett.

"You've reached the Castle family, plus one. How can I help?"

"Hello Uncle Rick. I'm wondering if I can speak to baby Ryan's big sister, please?" Kevin's voice comes through, tinny and far away but no less thick with delight.

Castle nods at Brooke and the girl grins, puts her face next to the phone the way she must have seen her parents do countless times. "I here Daddy."

"Hey there Brookie. How would you like to have a baby sister?"

"Really Daddy?" The girl breathes, sliding off of her chair and climbing into Kate's lap. She burrows her face against Kate's chest and fists a hand in her sweater, seeming to not quite know what to do with herself.

"Who wants to come and meet Bethany Ryan?"

"Me, I do." Castle almost yells, already standing up to gather everyone's plates. Kate snatches hers back from him and shoots him a pointed look as she finishes up her grapes, offering one to the squirmy girl in her lap.

"Well see you in an hour or so, Ryan. Congratulations." Kate says, snagging her phone from the table so Castle can't do something ridiculous like run away with it.

"Thanks, Kate. I'll see you later. Love you, Brookie." Ryan says and then he hangs up, probably has to continue with a litany of phone calls to all of his enormous family.

Silly tears flood Kate's eyes and she battles them back, distracting herself with standing up and gathering her son from the highchair. It's just the emotion of the day, bringing back memories of the first time she held her son.

A screaming, red-faced, perfect little person totally dependent on her and Rick. And her husband, who could only break the stream of kisses peppered to the canvas of her face enough to tell her over and over how proud of her he was, how much he loves her.

Castle comes back from the kitchen and darts in for her mouth, shifting up to find her ear amidst the spill of curls. "Makes you want to do it again, doesn't it?"

Shit, yeah, it really does.

"Not yet, okay? Let me get through starting back at work and handling long stretches apart from my son and then we'll talk about it."

He sets his grin against the top of her head and traces the shell of Arthur's ear, his arm settling around her shoulders. "You already let me get you pregnant once, Kate. And remember how _fun_ it was. All that trying."

Kate swats at him, stepping away to corral her niece and steer the girl towards the couch and her shoes, still on the coffee table where Castle left them earlier. "Okay Brooke, let's go meet your sister."

"Aunty Kate, is Artie a big brother now too?"

"No sweetheart. The baby is your sister, not his. He's your cousin, remember that word? And the baby's cousin too."

The girl takes a moment to process this and then she nods, a sly little grin spreading across her face. "But one day you will have a baby in your tummy that will be Artie's little sister?"

Castle snorts from across the room, striding over to kiss the top of Brooke's head and drop her coat into her lap. "That's my girl."

Kate rolls her eyes at him and murmurs to her son about how silly his daddy is, but all the same, she's picturing it. A tiny girl with dark hair and eyes like August skies who curls up in bed and calls her _Mommy_.

Crap. She's ruined.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, that's a wrap. Once again, thank you for all your love and support. Especially TMC, you guys rock my world.**


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